Pholco Swifthand
The Expert Treasure Hunters
World:	Landroval
Vocation:	[[Vocation:Tinker|Tinker]]
Class:	Burglar
Race:	Hobbit
Region:	The Shire
Age:	32
Height:	3' 1"
Sex:	Male
Skin:	Medium
Hair:	Dark Brown
Eye:	Bright Blue

"Not all those who wander are lost......"

Oh well, there's always a chance of getting lost, so why bother yourself with wandering in the first place?

Pholco's Stories

(1) Of the Leaving of the Shire

(2) Pholco's Night with the Shades

Personal Description

Pholco Swifthand is an amiable hobbit that likes nothing better than a warm slice of pie in his warm hobbit hole in Weedhallow, The Shire at number one, Harrow Road, with a warm fire on a warm night. If you will notice, all of these things are warm, so if you read between the lines, you will most likely figure that Pholco does not like the cold. In fact, he cannot stand the cold. You might also be able to tell this from his medium shade of skin that he is not from cold climates, and if you put him in one and observe, you will find that it will quickly turn a bright shade of blue, much like the blueberry pie that he so much adores. Unfortunately, many places that he is forced to go to have a shadowy chill about them, so you will quite often find this young hobbit moaning of home and pie. Pholco is a bit short and not as stout as many, though a truer hobbit you will never find out of the Shire. He is rather small and plump, but he does not mind when others jest about his figure, because it is a sacrifice he makes when choosing to enjoy pie. "After oll, he will often say, who could possibly live without poi?" This will bring up another thing that unnaturally cruel hobbits and stuck-up elves looking to downgrade everyone by letting them know that they are going to defeat the shadow in the North before anyone else can would constantly tease poor Pholco about. Pholco has trouble dictating his words, and even though you can make out what he is saying most of the time, it is a rather fun thing to tease him about; especially since the more upset he gets the less and less he dictates. Now, unless you find joy in teasing innocent little hobbits about their accents, you should read the following text, which will tell you a bit about how to understand:

Pholco's Accent

Somewhat of a Cockney accent, Pholco's way of speaking can sometimes be difficult to understand. The accent is passed down from Pholco's auntie Doily, a rather large hobbit with an uncommon allergy to pie. Luckily, only the accent was passed down to Pholco and not the allergy to pie. Instead he has a terrible allergy to Lasagna. No one knows where that came from.

Anyway, the accent forces Pholco to say many things with a "oi" on the end or somewhere in the middle, such as "my" changes to "moi", "I" changes to "oi", and "by" changes to "boi". Pholco's favourite word, "pie", is also affected by this accent and turned into "poi". Examples of the oi" in the middle of a phrase would be when "survived" is changed to "survoived." He has a hard time saying "h's", so often instead of saying them he skips straight to the next letter, such as "hello" being "allo", and "he" becoming "ee".

Bringing another point, often when "e's" begin a word, especially if Pholco is happy or excited, it will be replaced by an "a", such as "allo" instead of "ello" for "hello".

Though in a cockney accent, "with" is changed to "wif" and so on, this does not affect Pholco's speech for whatever reason.

The word foiled as in "we foiled their plans" would remain the same, for the oi is easy for Pholco to say.

When Pholco says "ever" or "never" the "v" is very faint and will sound as if he is saying "ne'er". You can sort of tell that there is something unaudible between the two "ee's" but not enough to be a dictated "never".

I hope that this little accent guide will aid you in being able to understand Pholco's unique way of speaking.

Miscellaneous

Friends

Burgo Burglepie<- Moi good freend from theh Shoir ee is.

Herone Silverton

'ere's me an' moi buddy Greysalan ploin some music!

This is me good pal Ro'adim! 'ee cin be a bit.....impatient at toimes, bur there's no one better ter 'ave in a tough spot.

Farathor <- This man's quoite strange oid say! Followin' 'erone everywhere woil 'ee's free! Woi, Oi'd be doin somethin much moor intrestin, loik per'aps eatin poi....

Thrailin<- oi ne'er wood ave survoived ther darf ploices wi'oot eem oi woodn't ave! 'bur oi think 'ee's been hoibernoitin fer a looong woil 'ee 'as. 'Too many elf's aboot' 'ee would soi. Twasn't very friendly towards them 'ee wosn't....

Eriolas<- A noice man oi met through Burgo.

Swyfte Rovare<- moi man cousin ee is. =)

Druntho <- a 'obbit from the Shoire, we still talk a bit wee doo.

Periwinkel Brandyport <- Moi friend from treasure 'untin she is.

Waterlily Pondblossom <- A noice gal this'un!

The Expert Treasure Hunters

Fellowship Maneuvers

Enemies

Nasty stuff this Lasagna

Spoiders are... well, let's just soi that they are too big an' 'ave too many legs for moi toiste they do.

Any creature that would do 'arm ter any o' the free peoples!

Hobbies

Practicing Smoke Rings

Stargazing

Sneaking in Places he Doesn't Belong

Dreaming about Pie

Making Pie

Talking about Pie

Dancing

Making Jewelry

Going on Pony Rides