'You work your entire life to stand against evil and spit long and hard in its face and you get stationed here handing out free items to folk like you. There was a time when I was the finest soldier in all of Eriador, but now I push quill over parchment, and count the number of keys on a ring or tokens in hand.

'Let's get on with it then. Seems you made a name for yourself out there in the wild, and the Second Marshals tell me that you are owed favour and reward. Good news for you, nothing but a pain in my nethers.

'Here is what we do from now on. You show me that you have been a good little warrior by handing over the tokens of valour you collect. I hand you keys in exchange. It is simple enough for even your primitive brain to understand, I think.'